


How Not to Play Mario Kart

by Amateum



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bunker Fluff, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mario Kart, Misunderstandings, Poor Sam, Rated teen for mild sex descriptions, Sam and his damn vegetables, Short, This was written around season 8, when Men of Letters was a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 03:26:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8473612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amateum/pseuds/Amateum
Summary: Sam assumes that Dean and Cas are having sex. And then he assumes they're playing Mario Kart and walks in on them. Turns out, he got the order wrong.





	

Sam walked into the bunker hauling six bags of groceries on each arm, with more in the trunk.

 It was his turn to pick the food for the week so plastic bags overflowed with vegetables.  
  


"Cas? Dean? I'm home!" he shouted into the bunker. No reply.

"Hello? I need some help with all the groceries, here!" Still nothing. Normally, they showed up instantly, Dean to inspect the contents then complain about the rabbit food and Cas to actually help carry in the groceries. Perplexed, Sam set the vegetables on the counter and wandered farther into bunker to find his friend and brother.  
  


A muffled shout reverberated from Cas' room.

“Probably too busy goofing off to hear me," muttered Sam. He strolled up to Cas' door, hand up to knock when he heard Cas shouting. No. More like...moaning?  
  


"Ugh, Dean!"

"C'mon, Cas, you can make it, almost there!"

"So close, Dean!"

"Yes, yes! YES!" Dean shouted while Castiel simultaneously groaned aloud.    
  


At this point Sam bolted back to the kitchen.

Face matching the tomatoes, Sam put away the groceries alone. Eventually, though, his embarrassment dissipated into true happiness for his brother and best friend.

"About time."

 

~*~

 

The next day, Sam sauntered into the kitchen, sweaty from his morning run, to find Dean sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper and Cas washing the breakfast dishes. Dean looked up.  
  


"Hey, Sammy"  
  


"Hey" Sam replied, a smirk on his face.  
  


"So...." He said, looking between Dean and Cas. "Took you two long enough."  
  


Dean's brows drew together. "What did?"  
  


"Last night?" Sam prompted.  
  


"Oh, you heard us? Yeah, I was just teaching Cas the ropes. Figured it was time he learned."  
  


Cas turned around from the sink. "The ropes? There were no ropes involved, Dean, all we were doing was-"

  
"We know what you were doing, Cas," Sam interrupted hurriedly."It's an expression."  
  


Cas nodded his understanding and turned back to the dishes.  
  


"Hope you don't mind we did it while you were out," Dean continued "I figured you wouldn't care for it so we waited until you left."  
  


"Uh, no, I'm not offended. Actually, I'd prefer that." Sam shuddered inwardly at the thought of listening to them get it on while attempting to get some Men of Letters work done.  
  


"Oh good." Dean smiled and went back to his paper.  
  


Sam, slightly surprised at how unashamed they were at the whole thing, poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot, sipped, and somewhat awkwardly said "So...this is a big step in your relationship, huh?"  
  


"Relationship?" Dean frowned at the newsprint. "Not really, I mean we’ve been doing this for a while now, it’s not anything new.”  
  


“You…have?”  
  


“Sure, ever since we moved into this bunker. You know that,” he said, like Sam were being purposefully dumb.  
  


“Well, I mean, I’ve certainly been hinting at it, but-”  
  


“Hinting at it? You’ve joined in on every single game except for last night!”  
  


“Game?” Said incredulously, “What game, what are you talking about?”  
  


"Mario Kart! It always was your least favorite Wii game."  
  


"Mario...Kart...?"  
  


''m showing Cas one new video game a week, remember? Last week it was Brawl, this week it was Mario Kart."Replied Dean, as if it were obvious.  
  


Sam blinked a couple of times. "...oh"  
  


"What did you think we were doing?" Dean laughed.  
  


Castiel, who had been listened the whole time, walked up to Sam, his eyebrows in a full-on Castiel squint. "Sam, did you think that Dean and I were...copulating?"  
  


Cripes, he's faster than he looks.  
  


Dean burst out laughing "No way, Cas. Even Sam wouldn't..." he trailed off when he saw his brother's face. "...Sam? You didn't actually think that, did you?" he said, disbelief written across his face.  
  


"NO! I mean, uh, of course not." Sam laughed awkwardly "Why on earth would I, um, think that...sort of...thing?"  
  


"Oh my God," Dean put his face in his hand. "Sam." Dean moved to stand right in front of Sam, placing his hands on his brother's shoulders. "I. Am. Straight."

 "Cas. Was married. To a woman." Dean continued, interrupting Sam's snort of disbelief. "Cas, back me up here."  
  


"I'm appalled, Sam."  
  


"See? I told you-"  
  
"If I were in a relationship with Dean, I would have told you."  
  


"Wait, what?" exclaimed Dean, head whipping towards Cas.  
  


"You’re saying you wouldn't mind being in a relationship with Dean?" asked Sam innocently.  
  


Now it was Dean's turn to scoff. "Please Sam, he wouldn't want anything to do with me."  
  


"On the contrary," said Cas, turning toward Dean, "I would prefer you over any other mate I could find, even my ex-wife."  
  


"C'mon, Cas, stop teasing. I'm nothin’ special, and you know it."  
  


"Actually, I find you quite...extraordinary."  
  


Sam watched the two of them stare longingly into each other's eyes.

"…and yet you claim heterosexuality."  
  


Dean flipped him off.

 

~*~

 

A full month passed with no further gay incidents. The bunker resumed its usual pace until one day when it was Sam's turn to choose the groceries again. He placed the surprisingly heavy (who knew kale could weigh so much?) vegetables on the table and yelled at Cas and Dean to get their butts over here to help. Receiving no response, Sam sighed and went off in search. Again, he stood in front of Cas' bedroom to knock when he heard the Dean say "Damn, this is hard."  
  


Sam smirked and opened the door.  
  


“About time Cas knocked you down a peg-“the words died on his lips.

On the bed was Castiel, lying on top of Dean with his pants slipped halfway down his legs, hair even messier than usual and guilty look on his face. Dean, hair ruffled, lips swollen, and shirt off, had a hand between their legs.  
  


No one spoke. No one moved. Sam cleared his throat, stepped backward through the doorway, and closed the door behind him.  
  


20 minutes later with the groceries put away, Sam was sitting at the kitchen table, a paper in hand, when Dean and Cas walked out of the bedroom.  
  


"I'm so sorry, Sam" Cas said "I was going to tell you tonight"  
  


"Well, I certainly know now," replied Sam, refusing to look over his paper.  
  


"Oh, c'mon, Sammy, it's just sex."  
  


"No, it's just sex when I see a girl leave your bedroom in the morning." Sam slammed down the paper, his face beet red. "It's just sex when I glance at the porn you left open on the laptop." He sprang out of the chair and poked an accusing finger to his brother's chest. "It is downright _embarrassing_ when I walk in on my brother with a reciprocated hard-on for my best friend."  
  


“Look, Sammy, if you don’t approve of our relationship, then you’ll just have to get over it-”  
  


“Of course I approve!” Sam exclaimed, “I've been expecting you two to get together for _years_ now, just not like this!"  
  


Dean paused in shock, mouth still open.  
  


Castiel broke the silence. "I apologize for causing embarrassment, Sam."  
  


"It's fine." Sam sighed, "I'll just need to bleach my eyes."  
  


"That would severely damage your corneas."  
  


"Expression, Cas." Dean chipped in. "So let me get this straight-"

 Sam snorted  
  


"You… _like_ that we're together?"  
  


"Obviously. Just don't wave your happy bits in front of me. And for God's sake, get out of my face!” he said, playfully shoving Dean away, “Your post-coital glow is giving me a sunburn!"  
  


Dean chuckled and stepped back to Cas, entwining their hands together. The two of them smiled at each other briefly until Dean said "So, I recently discovered that my boyfriend" he paused and smiled at the word "hasn't seen Indiana Jones. Movie night?"

**Author's Note:**

> So I found this lying around my desktop from years ago, thought it was funny, and decided to touch it up and publish it. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
